Success Analysis

The following is a transcript from interviewing my mom and dad for the success analysis assignment. My mom and dad have been married for 29 years. They are best friends, and still have the best time just being and spending time with one another. It is apparent once you read the transcript of how much fun they have with one another. They are consistently laughing and joking with one another.

How do you deal with differences of opinion?

(Both laughing)

Mom: We talk it out.

Dad: Yeah, basically.

Mom: We just don’t fuss.

What kinds of issues have you found come up continually?

Mom: It used to be money.

Dad: Oh yes, money used to be a big issue. Years ago.

Me: How about now?

Mom: Not a lot now.

Me: How did you guys deal with it? Or handle it?

Dad: It was tough.

Mom: Yeah

Dad: I mean, we got through it, but it was tough.

Mom: There wasn’t much we could do about it but live day by day… and trust each other. But that was it.

What are the strengths of your marriage?

Mom: I think communication.

Dad: Yeah, I think so too.

Mom: We talk a lot.

Dad: Well, your mom more so than me…

(Both laugh)

Dad: I mean, it’s just me and her now, so we have to talk to each other (laughing)

Mom: (laughing) Yeah

Me: How about anything else, any other strengths worth mentioning?

Mom: Well, God has always been in our relationships. Regardless of how close we are with Him at the moment, He has been with us in our relationship.

Dad: Yeah, I completely agree.

What types of activities do you engage in during your free time together?

Mom: Eating (laughing)

Dad: (laughing) Yeah, we eat out together about every night. It’s just me and her most of the time.

Do you (have you) participate in individual activities or hobbies (that do not include your spouse) on a regular basis?

Dad: Never

Dad and Mom: (laughing)

Dad: Yeah, I play golf.

Mom: I love to clean and decorate and hang out with my girlfriends.

Me: And Dad, I know you like to go on fishing trips and stuff.

Dad: Yeah, I do. And you guys go with me sometimes.

Mom: and sometimes when he goes out of town, I come up and see you.

Me: That’s right.

Do you take vacations together?

Mom: Oh yeah

Dad: (Nodding)

Me: You guys just went on a beach trip together, just the two of you.

Dad: Yeah that was the first time we’ve went somewhere, just the two of us.

Mom: Since we had kids.

Me: How was that?

Dad: It was fun.

Mom: Yeah, it was fun. Relaxing.

Dad: Yeah we didn’t have any plans, we just went with the flow.

How do you express love for one another on a daily basis?

Mom: Yeah, I don’t…

Dad: I usually give you a hug everyday when I leave for work.

Mom: Yeah, we use touch a lot to show our love. We constantly talk to one another and talk about our days. You know… a little tap here, a little tap there (laughs)

Dad: (laughing)

What sources of social support have you had (family? Church? Friends?)?

Mom: All of the above.

Dad: (nodding) Yeah.

Mom: We have a lot of good friends. And family. Both sides.

What factors have strengthened your marriage?

Mom: Being able to talk, I think. And doing everything as a family, with our children. I mean, we always did everything together as a family.

How do you share your spiritual life?

Dad: Just going to church together I guess.

Mom: Yeah, yeah.

What do you wish you had known then that you know now?

Mom: Ooh..

Dad: We should have bought a house as soon as we got married.

Mom: Yeah, instead of waiting thirteen years.

Dad: It probably would’ve been paid for by now.

Mom: Yeah, things like that.

What was (or were) the most important factor(s) in strengthening your marriage.

Mom: Trust. Love.

Dad: Having kids.

Mom: Yes. Oh yes, yes. We both love our kids and couldn’t wait to have them. Once we had them…

Dad: It was great.

This was such a fun assignment for me to do. My parents are so much fun to be around, and interviewing them about their marriage was not only entertaining, but it was also encouraging. My parents most definitely represent a consummate love discussed in Sternberg’s theories of love. Not only because they have been married for more than 25 years; they have been married for more than 25 years, and still love and respect one another and are each other’s best friends. For me, the most surprising yet encouraging thing I heard in their answers was when they said having kids was one of the most important factors in strengthening their marriage. Not because I thought my brother and I were such burdens, or even that my parents act like we were burdens for their marriage—I feel like my brother and I were fortunate in that we didn’t really go through the typical teenage years of rebelling against our parents, and we’re both very close with our parents. It was surprising to me because of the studies that have been brought up that many married couples that have kids decreases their marital satisfaction. I guess it was more encouraging than surprising that my parents viewed this as strength. Overall, I loved this assignment and had the best time interviewing my parent’s on the success of their marriage.